Gather 'Round, Kids, It's Story Time

Bad news, my friends.  The remodel did not get done in time for this post.  It might be because, as a dorm, we are incredibly lazy, or it might be because we have an eye for detail and care about our work.  Think what you will. But hopefully we'll get that update for you fairly soon.

Anyways, let's go sit on the mat, chilluns, because it's story time! I actually have a couple doozies for ya'll today.  The first one happened today.  I was sitting in church, being my usual righteous self, when I took an opportunity to look at the program*, and saw that we had two musical numbers.  Which apparently isn't all that uncommon in Provo.  More uncommon, is when they perform the exact same song.  Whoopsies.  They played my favorite hymn, so I was all for it, but the looks on people's faces when they realized what was happening... priceless.  For those of you unaware, musical numbers in Mormon wards tend to have excessive intros, where you don't really know what song they're about to bust into.  Then they play a couple notes and people have an "Oh! I know what this is" moment.  Today it was followed by an "OH! We just listened to this!" moment. Deja vu, to the max.

*Note: I did not actually look at the program; I was setting the stage for the rest of the story.

Pretty much how we get around now.  And yes, Dad, this picture's for you.

The second story deals with a recent acquisition made by our dorm room.  My roommate, Mark (whom you all met whilst he was half naked and blue a couple posts ago), has a sister who lives pretty close to us, and had a moped that she wasn't using.  Yep, our dorm has a moped.  It's totally sweet, and we drive it everywhere.  For instance, on Friday we went over to our FHE sisters' place for dinner, a grand total of two feet away from our dorm.  So naturally, we took "the Scooter".  After the festivities were over, a couple of girls wanted rides on it, so naturally we obliged.  After Mark dropped off the last girl, and he's coming to pick up me and Rob, we see him barreling toward us, full throttle. Me and Rob look at each other and do the whole "Pft, who's he trying to impress?" look, and realize that Mark isn't stopping.  He hits the sidewalk in front of where me and Rob are standing, and the wheels just peel out in this huge arc and Mark's on the ground.  At this point me and Rob are like, "Crap! We just watched our roommate die" and run over there to listen to his final words.  Turns out he was fine, and the throttle had gotten stuck on top speed.  In hindsight, it was hilarious.

On a final note, to people like me out there... RIP

Keep it real!

Matt

An Announcement of Epic Proportions

Alright ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for.  Matt is getting off his lazy butt and posting something on a day that isn't Sunday. *The crowd goes silent for a moment as they try to comprehend the magnitude of what just happened, then breaks into an uproarious applause*

There are two big reasons for this mid week post, so let's dive right in and get to them. The first is that I might've done something bad.  I totally forgot to do my weekly shout out last post.  This one goes to http://greenknightofwhat.blogspot.com/, and its creator, my man, ****** ******. See how I totally saved your secret identity? It was written by a guy in my old ward in Boise, and since he selflessly linked up my blog a couple posts ago, I thought I'd return the favor. It's got some pretty interesting stuff... Scope it out.

Second reason: Update on my dorm remodeling project.  We're about two inches from being done, so if we finish that before Sunday, I'll spend my post covering that. If not, i'll make something up, just like every other week.  Trust me, the reveal will be amazing.

And you can run and tell that, homeboy.

Matticus Maximus

Hipsterism is a Religion to Which You've Got to Be Devout

They're a rare breed

So today I was walking back from class when I saw a sight I'd been looking for, but didn't really ever think I'd see... The BYU Hipster.  For anyone unaware, a hipster is someone who tries way too hard to fit into an era or demographic that they are not currently living in. They're characterized by wearing weirdly matched clothing, paying high prices for clothes they could get at a second hand store for free, and... other things (we'll just say there's a reason hipster and hippie share the same root). Being a debater all through high school, I've probably seen a disproportionate amount of college hipsters in my life, and have been wondering how that trend was going to translate once I got to BYU.  Turns out they're exactly the same, they just have a highly advanced ability to make up excuses for their appearance. When someone asked him about his little goatee and dress, his answer was a simple "Eh, I forgot to shave this morning" (not true, Matt Bird knows what an I-don't-grow-facial-hair goatee looks like. He'd been working on that thing) and he had "just rolled out of bed and threw something on".  Needless to say, it got me some entertainment.

Mom as a child

The big event over the past couple days actually didn't happen to me, per se. My mom tried to burn down the house in Boise, along with everything in it.  Yeah, it surprised me too.  I mean, I thought the normal thing was to sell my stuff, not burn it.  So if anyone knows a good place to keep all of my belongings that I didn't take to college, let me know.
But joking aside, everyone's fine, there was just a lot of smoke and craziness.


As for what I did this week, let's grind this out, because you and I both know that it's the most boring part of my blog.  On Thursday (wait, maybe wednesday... or friday. Imma stick with thursday because you can't call me out for it), I did this thing called "True Blue Football" with my roommate, Mark, and his friend, Claire. The name was highly misleading. I didn't even see a football. However, there was definitely a lot of blue. What it was, was a giant plastic tarp down the side of a hill, that was continuously being sprayed by blue foam, that turned everything it touched this weird, off blue color. So of course any logical thinking college student went down there and rolled around in it. It was pretty awesome.

Mark after being dyed...and showered

Me

Other than that, it just been the pretty typical college week.  Doing homework at the last possible second and taking tests. Our dorm is currently working on a remodeling project and it's very hush-hush, so I can't tell you much about it, but I hope to get some sweet pictures up soon.

And he's out.
Matty B

I Found the Picture Button!!

Heyyy, guys! Remember when I said that I'd get this post up on Sunday and then didn't? Yeah, that was awesome.

Anyway, this is a pretty important post.  It's numero five, which means that I've been updating you guys on college life for an entire month.  Say it with me... Boo Yah!

Yeah, I'm kinda a big deal.

In response to this momentous achievement, I've decided we're gonna change up the way things work here at College: The Blog.  If it ain't broke, mutilate it until it becomes barely recognizable, amirite?  Rather than continue my trend of weekly posting every sunday, I'm going to become a true blogger and post whenever the heck I feel like it.  And if that turns out to be never, I'll come back to the sunday post system.  Because I care. About you.

Unless you know him

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming. I feel like I owe you guys an explanation in regards as to why you wasted all your time on Sunday waiting for me to post.  I was about four hours away from my computer.  And in Wyoming, so even if I did have my computer, about four hours away from the Internet.  The roommates and I went up there for the weekend to visit Ma and Pa Harris (aka Mark's mom and Dad).  Surprisingly, it made me realize how horribly wrong I was about Wyoming.  More than four people and their dog live there. I didn't see a single canine.  Ba-zing!  But in all reality, it was pretty good times.  I ate real food, which was enough to have me singing praises, and played on the elementary school playground behind Mark's house. Yeah, I'm pretty much the coolest kid you know.

I would talk more about this weekend, but I'm going to be late to my Book of Mormon class soon and I have other stuff to talk about.  Like my struggles. For the past couple weeks, my tuesday schedule has been like this: Sleep through my alarm, run to class at 8, get back home at noon, and make a breakfast burrito to satisfy my stomach.  Every time I think it's a bad idea, and every time I relearn to trust myself.  Scrambled eggs are literally made by getting the egg to stick to the bottom of a pan and then scraping them off. It's how they get fluffy!  Whoever came up with that was an idiot!!  Admittedly, I am a bigger idiot for continuing to make scrambled eggs!!!

But they are oh, so good.

Peace!

Matty

P.s. You guys may have noticed that I found the "insert picture" button.  Suh-weet!!