Thanksgiving Break- A Tale in Two Acts

Due to my fixation with the internet, I'm pretty sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that I'm back online within a half hour of getting back from my week long vacation.  It probably does come as a surprise that I'm updating my blog, because I'm awful at it, but hey, live a little and little things like this wouldn't surprise you.  You should actually be proud of yourself, blog audience, because this is the third site that i've gotten on since returning to my regular internet connection.  The first was Facebook (because I'm addicted), then Gmail (out of habit), then you guys (because I care).

The truck- After the flip and subsequent explosion

This week was pretty sweet. Memories were made, lives were lost, etc. First of all, I got to see la familia which is always a plus.  Second, on the drive back, I flipped my freaking truck.  I say that like I was involved in the flipping or that it was my truck, neither of which is true, per se. And by per se, I mean at all.  The Kennedy's came down to pick Rob up and were nice enough to take me with them. Then Rob tried to kill me so he could take my bed. And while I'm not one for emotes, I believe this deserves a :(

Rob after the restorative plastic surgery

But no, now that the jokes are done, I'll switch into news reporter mode for those of you who haven't heard what happened.  The roads had been for the most part fine the entire trip, so we were going a cautious 50 when we were about fifty miles outside Burley.  All of a sudden we hit a patch of black ice, slid into the ditch, and rolled the truck once when we hit the bottom.  We all survived, in fact the only battle scar the four who were in the car have to show for our near death experience is a scrape on Rob's forehead.  The truck didn't end up so hot, but you can't win 'em all.  Afterward, Dad came and picked us up from Burley and we drove home for the break.  It's less exciting than the attempted murder story.
I'll report on the rest of the break as soon as I can.  Since I'm awesome, I didn't do any of my homework and now have to do that before I go to bed.  I also have to unpack, as well as participate in my routine partying.  Looks like a busy night.

Talk to ya'll later,
Matthew T. Bird, signing off

Hey There, Delilah (Title Credit goes to Maddy Cleveland)

Guys, I have some bad news. There is the distinct possibility that I am actually dead and my corpse has been reanimated for the sole purpose of telling you why.  Yesterday, for family home evening, we went "Classic Skating" as a ward.  And as it turns out, when you're in college, classic skating actually means "spend the first 20 minutes remembering how to skate, then try to do crazy stunts with your equally crazy roommate." The stunt of choice for the night was the one me and Mark perfected, in which I would take a wide skating stance and he would skate through my legs.  Keep in mind that I'm using the term skate through my legs loosely in this context. What I actually mean is that he would start to skate through my legs, clip me in the knees with his shoulders, and I'd fall over backward. Various parts of my body are sore as I type this, including but not limited to all of it.

Additionally, me and Rob ran out of food this week.  Meaning that I still have my massive stores of canned food under my bed, but we ran out pasta and tortillas, effectively making it impossible to eat. And yes, you could say, "Matt, you could just cook up some of the canned food you were talking about..." and I'd say, "Point conceded." I could cook up some of the canned food I was talking about... if I had no soul.  A man shouldn't have to work for his dinner, people.

Let's knock some bookkeeping out of the way.  Next week, I may or may not post, depending on how lazy I get.  Everyone who reads my blog is going to see me. Except for the random guy in the Netherlands who has viewed my blog 6 times.  That's right man, I don't know who you are, but I'm still thinking about you. I'll think about it and get back to ya'll.

Final stories to tell: Nope, got nothing. It's good to be back to the blogging business after a short hiatus. The prodigal son returneth.

Catch ya on the flip side,
Matty, in the flesh

P.S. Not actually in the flesh. It's digital, guys.

Part II

Guess who's back, back again. Answer: Matt Bird.  To finish the tale of how six boys remodeled their house to reflect their wild and crazy lifestyle.  Let's do this.

Obviously the biggest thing we've done to our dorm is the wallpapering of the kitchen.  And to respond to the numerous questions I've fielded, no the boxes don't smell, nor are we destroying the walls in any way.  We're professionals.  The way this whole escapade got started was... I don't really know.  All I know is that one day I was sitting in my room with Rob when Mark comes barging in demanding any food boxes we might have.  Happily we obliged him (who are we to withhold trash from our roommate?), and eventually found out that there's a competition with the boys in 24.  Something about finishing our kitchen and loser buys the winner a pizza.  So naturally I'm committed to winning this thing, both because my competitive spirit is on steroids (making it angry and huge) and because I don't want to pay for a pizza.  Unfortunately, tortillas and cheese both come in bags, making it difficult for someone who subsists entirely off quesadillas to contribute.  Luckily I'm pretty much a genius.  One day, in a stroke of inspiration, I decided to take out my trash, when I realized that every dumpster in Heritage has two huge recycling bins entirely filled with cardboard the day before trash pickup.  In one day we got five big recycling bins full of cardboard and took a commanding lead.  24 just couldn't pick up the slack.  Sorry guys.

Other than me slacking on putting up a post, you guys haven't missed a whole lot these past couple weeks.  I've just had a massive amount of tests and homework.  Looking forward to the weekend where I can get myself a decent amount of sleep.

Also, I recognize that this post isn't written in my normal style (hilarious and witty, while at the same time smooth and refined).  I decided just to do a reporting post, cuz I don't have a lot of time, and I would rather feel the wrath of a thousand angry suns (namely, the sun on the desert level in SM3) than break a pinkie promise.  I'll go back to writing well next time.

Peace out, ya'll
Matt

Please Keep Your Arms and Legs Inside the Ride at all Times

Well, guys, I feel awful.  It's been a week and a half since my last post.  i don't necessarily feel awful about that, after all, it's my blog and I can do what I want.  However, I did straight up tell Lauretta Kennedy that I'd get a post up yesterday, and promptly forgot.  Lauretta, this one's for you.

Anyways, its good to be back.  I love being able to leave for a couple weeks, come back, and still be the most regular blogger out of my college friends.  You all suck!!(jk <3)!!  But seriously. I can only read my own blog so many times.  I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I've been so lackluster in my updating.  The reason is that I had a totally sweet post planned, but it took me forever to get ready. So I'd delay posting and things sort of spiraled out of control.  But I'm back now, and that's all that matters.  So without further ado, I present to you...

A virtual tour of my dorm! I'll let it sink in for a bit.  I was thinking, "Hey, most people who read this haven't even seen where I live," so I took the initiative (meaning delayed my regularly scheduled posting and took forever to set up my tour) and got ready to introduce you to the guys.

First, we've got the bedroom.  Notable items: Tweety, Jacob Black.  This is where I spend a pretty big portion of my time. And who can blame me? I've got freaking Taylor Lautner's eyes to gaze into.

Second, we've got Nate Garlick/Zach Kroff's bedroom. Notable items: Nate. He was the only one home besides myself when I was taking pictures for this, so he got himself on the Internet.

Finally, we've got the kitchen. Notable items: our freaking box wallpaper, the Wyoming blanket.  Yeah, that's right.  We wallpapered our kitchen with food boxes.  There may or may not have been a competition with the room next door, and we may or may not have completely and utterly wasted them.  Yeah, boi.

But yeah... that's my house.  I've got a couple stories to share on the topic that are coming in a part II post tomorrow, so be on the lookout. I'd share them now, but I've got class in 9 hours.  I'll finish tomorrow, pinkie promise.

As always, keep it real.
The Mattster